November 6, 2012

Is 'Love' Really to Blame?

Premeditated Warning: I'm about to get in touch with my inner hopeless romantic ego (more like outer), and discuss about the one thing that the 21st Century hates to admit and feel:
More and more, I've noticed society has become rather nonchalant and dismissive of love and all that it pertains. Mostly because, well, they've had some pretty crappy experiences on the matter making them reconsider if a concept as this is even seen as valuable anymore.  
It's evident why we may feel this animosity towards love, but the question lies in: Is it rational? 
The kind of love we're use to is bonded with unrealistic and foolish expectations about achieving ultimate happiness.
In other words, it's not love.
So the kind of love that we love to hate, is actually the falsely presumed one we mashed up in our heads with our own pre-mature experiences.
We as individuals, are on this constant, tragic search for someone who fits a supposed fixed criteria that may or may not be obtainable, and we dismantle when it falls short, more often than not. Though, we fail to recognize that love doesn't take requests.
We get what we give. But through certain junctures of our lives, we also get what we need; to learn and to grow.  
For a moment, consider the power of destiny. A lot of you may be reading this right now and thinking, "Here we go. Yet another cryptic belief that is so utterly ridiculous." -- And you're right. Destiny is pretty ridiculous and often times, incomprehensible. But, I challenge you to be more perceptive of your surroundings and recognize why you decided to go that specific bar, at that specific time, while running into a long-lost pal. Or, why you suddenly craved a pastry from your favorite coffee shop and ran into that bearded guy who openly admired your choice of carrot cake.  
These events unfold, for better or for worse. No one can predict the intentions of others, and often times, we become blinded by the hate that we employ from the harmful ones. Yet, that's the very magic of love; it takes no precautions. You either fall and are gracefully caught. Or, you face plant to the ground -- Or, both. 
Getting our hearts broken sucks, and it's difficult to not get caught up in a blame-game or on an anti-love rampage. It's way easier to generalize and antagonize a beautiful notion such as love, than to accept our faults and build the courage to give it another go.

Instead, we contemplate all seven deadly sins against our exes, in hopes that it'll aid the hurt. We pinpoint every flaw of his or hers and dissect what went wrong. The ambiguous statuses and tweets begin to take a toll. You feel an overwhelming rage and want to hate every single thing about them, but you can't. Those once adored parts of that person will always seem to stand out against the bad ones. Mostly because, a lot of those parts also became a part of you.
So, next time you feel that loathing venom grip your heart, think about the strength you obtained from that break up. Think about the lesson(s) you grasped from that asshole who decided to toy with you and your feelings. And most importantly, think about how much you learned about yourself, despite the pain he/she may have caused you. 

Once you've reflected, all you'll feel for the schmuck is gratitude.

Like anything else that resonates within us, love has its quirks but it also has its perks. But an even bigger reality of love is that we gain so much more than we lose.

We gain hope, and that hope fuels a better you.

You can gag now.
(Published & Edited on Elite Daily

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