December 11, 2013

(un)Conditional Love


"I love you unconditionally", he said.


This proclamation suddenly struck me into a deep hypnosis of trying to understand what unconditional love actually means.

Parents (mothers in particular) usually convey this to their children and I'd believe it is true every time, despite the consciousness that not all mothers love their offspring equally or as profusely.

But, let's keep the focus on the bigger conventional picture: willingly going through 9 months of stretch marks and sudden cravings for a vanilla ice-cream pickle split to a vivid and unsettling event of a 7.5 lb. rug-rat plummeting out of a generally small, velvety hole.
--Yeah, I would strongly argue that with all things just considered (among an infinite list of others), an unconditional love would naturally unfold.

Now when my significant other expressed this doting proclaim to me over his selfless exchange of Clam Chowder for Lobster Bisque (as bad as he wanted to keep downing the Clam Chowder), it led us into a really compelling conversation about the extent of unconditional love and it's liability.

Unconditional love in a Generation-Y relationship doesn't live up to the value of what those words as a whole actually mean. When you tell someone you love them unconditionally, what you're actually saying is, "No matter what happens, under any and all circumstances, my love for you will thrive above all conditions."

Not to test anyone's credibility of love for one another but if love has no conditions and boundaries or limits, why would anyone ever try to do the right thing?
If I know I am loved no matter what I do, where is the actual challenge or authenticity?
This would make sense in a relation as mentioned earlier between let's say, mother and daughter; in oppose to a liaison between two unrelated people whom share an amount of endearment for one another.

Love should have many conditions, otherwise whose to say that shortcomings or affairs aren't forgivable or have any dismayed effects on a persons' "unconditional love" when it inevitably does.
Love should require both partners to be their very best at all times, bottom line.
Conditions keep love sensible and more importantly --obtainable.

I figured after having this quite heavy laundry of conversation with my guy, he would automatically doubt our entire prolonged relationship by my questioning of his unquestioning love for me.
But instead he chuckled and said,

"Ok then, I love you indefinitely."

That's more like it.


Signed, -S

(As also featured on Thought Catalog)