It is a difficult era in which to know anything with any certainty. In these youthful days of glory, we become reluctant to commit to anything due to the predisposed notion that something or someone better may come along.
There may be some validity in that, and it can be an admirable quality to think that we won’t settle for anything until we’ve personally experienced what else is out there for us.
That urge is most especially understandable for deciphering who is right for us, or more importantly, who “the one” is. This seems to be intensified when we find ourselves convinced that we have found someone quite special, but then, the classic devil and angel analogy slowly creeps into our subconscious minds.
The gnawing predictions and inquiries of what you might lose if you decide to indefinitely commit to that special someone will begin to manifest and cloud your intuition:
While you continue to freak yourself out and ultimately shun yourself away from this person, you’ll do what you set out to do. Live your life and decide to explore the greener horizons with the preconceived certainty that when another special person comes along, you’ll be ready.
With time, if another notable person does, in fact, waltz into your life and pull at your heartstrings, you’ll know your initial doubts were plausible. The real risk, however, is the prospect that the other special person, whom you were certain would come, never does.
What if, after all of that time, you go to consider what else is out there, only to realize that "special" or even a glimmer of it only comes by rarely?
Then, all too suddenly, the retrospects of your life begin to render in your mind, and you struggle with a new understanding of what you repressed. It’s now probable that someone else took your given opportunity without any cruel hesitation because, well, how could someone not?
That kind of special quality you once held dear is inimitable. This painful revelation is like no other, and it is difficult to accept. I mean, you blatantly disregarded what this person was worth to you, and now, you’re left with no choice but to own up to your losses and then move on.
While this loss may feel like you’re a total failure when it comes to matters of love, for a moment, consider what you gained. I know it might sound a little foolish, but sometimes, these losses will enable you to be even more conscious or interconnected with yourself and the world around you.
You will learn to recognize the difference between petty doubts, which are natural when considering any life-altering decisions, and the burdening doubts, which are definitely the ones you need to address.
The realities and lessons of this experience, however, would have never transcended, had you not allowed yourself to go with your fear of failure rather than your hope for success. No matter how right or regretful the decision will ultimately turn out to be, it is your decision, which will help you learn for the next go-around.
Even if it takes what may feel like a lifetime to find someone as exceedingly special as that one person, and you spend a good amount of time dwelling on what could have been, surely, you’ll someday be able to value someone the way you once valued your special someone.
You just have to be willing to go there. Trust that you’ll be able to make a better decision in the future and that all is not lost.
(Originally published & edited on Elite Daily)
There may be some validity in that, and it can be an admirable quality to think that we won’t settle for anything until we’ve personally experienced what else is out there for us.
That urge is most especially understandable for deciphering who is right for us, or more importantly, who “the one” is. This seems to be intensified when we find ourselves convinced that we have found someone quite special, but then, the classic devil and angel analogy slowly creeps into our subconscious minds.
The gnawing predictions and inquiries of what you might lose if you decide to indefinitely commit to that special someone will begin to manifest and cloud your intuition:
"Is this what I really want? I’m still so young, what do I know about what I want? I don’t even know what I want to eat in the next hour. If I can’t make a decision as simple as what I want to eat, how can I decide with whom I can potentially spend the rest of my life? That’s a long freaking time. What if I commit too soon, and then the person I think is my soul mate will screw me over in a really traumatizing way, leaving me woefully alone with requited baggage. Forever."
While you continue to freak yourself out and ultimately shun yourself away from this person, you’ll do what you set out to do. Live your life and decide to explore the greener horizons with the preconceived certainty that when another special person comes along, you’ll be ready.
With time, if another notable person does, in fact, waltz into your life and pull at your heartstrings, you’ll know your initial doubts were plausible. The real risk, however, is the prospect that the other special person, whom you were certain would come, never does.
What if, after all of that time, you go to consider what else is out there, only to realize that "special" or even a glimmer of it only comes by rarely?
Then, all too suddenly, the retrospects of your life begin to render in your mind, and you struggle with a new understanding of what you repressed. It’s now probable that someone else took your given opportunity without any cruel hesitation because, well, how could someone not?
That kind of special quality you once held dear is inimitable. This painful revelation is like no other, and it is difficult to accept. I mean, you blatantly disregarded what this person was worth to you, and now, you’re left with no choice but to own up to your losses and then move on.
While this loss may feel like you’re a total failure when it comes to matters of love, for a moment, consider what you gained. I know it might sound a little foolish, but sometimes, these losses will enable you to be even more conscious or interconnected with yourself and the world around you.
You will learn to recognize the difference between petty doubts, which are natural when considering any life-altering decisions, and the burdening doubts, which are definitely the ones you need to address.
The realities and lessons of this experience, however, would have never transcended, had you not allowed yourself to go with your fear of failure rather than your hope for success. No matter how right or regretful the decision will ultimately turn out to be, it is your decision, which will help you learn for the next go-around.
Even if it takes what may feel like a lifetime to find someone as exceedingly special as that one person, and you spend a good amount of time dwelling on what could have been, surely, you’ll someday be able to value someone the way you once valued your special someone.
You just have to be willing to go there. Trust that you’ll be able to make a better decision in the future and that all is not lost.
(Originally published & edited on Elite Daily)
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