Treading Water

Is it really possible to be wholeheartedly in love all the time and still keep passion at bay? And I mean by both individuals. Equally squared, no balance scheme needed.

Or is there the individual who always wins, who has more control over what they feel or don't feel --- In other words, whoever likes the other person less, wins. That's what most people would deem to believe. But I would think as a whole, it's a tarnished concept.

The individual "in control" would be imprisoned by the one thing we all fear: complete and utter dullness. And the one who is genuinely invested would just continue to exclude all self dignity while making the controller their whole world, and the investor making the controller only a part of their's.

No matter how hard we try to psycho analyze it (and by 'we' I mean, 'me' because I'm the only psycho writing this shit) or perceive it, we ultimately lose. Whether we're the controller or the investor -- We lose -- Because no one ever loves the same way.

No two people can be wholeheartedly in love all. the. time. Now you can preach to me about how years ago you met your soul mate and the way you feel has not reached a level of monotony but a level of love that you can't even comprehend and I won't challenge you on that. I'd believe you. But what empowers you, doesn't necessarily mean it does the same for the other individual. Actually, it doesn't.

You have a soul mate and your soul mate has a soul mate. And there's a high probability, it's not you.

This isn't me being cynical or insensitive, it's purely anthropological insight (Note: I'm in no position to be giving such perception on human science but I'm going to do it anyway).

It doesn't mean we're all doomed to eternally question whether or not our significant other is in fact, our soulmate or our person. It just means we have different soul mates at altering times of our lives. Soul mates don't necessarily need to be a significant other or a lover. It can be a best friend, a family member or just someone you deeply connect with.

Love is a part of human nature, although some critics would argue that it's just social pressures at work. The only pressure I can imagine it causing on is our hearts; this red bean shaped, pumping blood thing placed ever-so conveniently inside our chest. Which is complicated all in itself. I mean, think about it. That shit gives us life. We can't breathe, eat, bang, drink, watch The Food Network, not a damn thing without it. And we use that very thing to love.

No wonder we're all screwed. It's being utilized for so many things. How the hell are we supposed to engage in anything "wholeheartedly" when our whole heart is being altered and divided in so many ways just to complete our every day shenanigans.

Yeah, I don't know where I'm going with this, either. All these haunting smiling bears with heart-shaped chocolate boxes are making me bitter.

Anyway, Happy Valentines Day.

As you were,

Signed, -S