1) I know you probably think I'm a passive aggressive bitch from planet Schizophrenia, but I'm honestly not trying to mess with your head. I want to tell you so bad how much you actually mean to me, but I won't. Because I don't want you to mean anything to me. You have that all-I-think-about-all-day-want-to-talk-to-all-the-time potential that makes me kind of shit bricks because that is the second to last thing that I want (The very last would be a Doomsday).
It's not because you're not worthy enough; we're just not worthy enough. At least for right now. In the meantime though, would you mind just telling me you love me and how you can't stop thinking about me, and call me I'm pretty, etc.
I long and crave for that. But, from you.
2) I'd by lying if I said that us getting back together doesn't cross my mind. Every three days or so. Especially through this vital time of the year where just two & a half years ago, we stood high and very much in love. -- Or rather in the idea of it.
Actually, fuck that. It was love because that's what we created it to be and it was fucking beautiful. It's harder now when I see you; everything that just a couple of months ago was second nature to us, becomes completely dismembered and swallowed.
You have unknowingly set the template for everyone I meet, for the rest of my life. Your pictures aren't even facing down yet in what used to be our home. You're still in my heart, and always will be. I'd probably marry the shit out of you, one day. But, you know that. And if you didn't, well now you do.
3) I like how I can throw any sentence at you and not worry about whether it was too much. I like that you make me feel liberated and completely out of my element. I like how I can basically tell you anything, and you don't judge. But, I'm still debating on whether or not I like you. And that may be because... well, you're a freaking douche. A really cute one.
You speak in cryptic language and religiously practice all kinds of puns that I can appreciate till it just becomes utterly exhausting and well, annoying. I'm just way past that phase. I'm down for games, but physical ones. Not mind ones.
4) It is approximately 2:27am and I'm thinking of 10 things at the same time; 3 in which have to do with you. Even while I'm writing this out.
Get out of my head. K'thnxbai.
5) I don't want to come off like I am my own emotional terrorist whose so pathetically caught up and fond of this hopeless romantic crap.
Because I'm not...
Yeah, this is where you call bullshit.
Signed, -S
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